By Mara Hodler
I read an acronym for fear that I thought described well the kind of fears we all face at times about things that haven’t actually happened.
F-False
E-Evidence
A-Appearing
R-Real
Of course, there are some fears that are valid. In those cases, fear is the voice of wisdom preventing you from doing something dangerous. What I’m talking about are the fears that stop you from doing something that is going to make your life better; the fears that make you think you are incapable or inadequate.
I can think back to so many times in my life when my fears convinced me that I could not do something. This happened more times than I can count. When I was learning to drive, I was absolutely paralyzed with fear. I imagined horrible scenarios like me losing control of the car and crashing into another car and killing or maiming someone. I thought about how dumb I can be, and how I would probably just forget to stop at a red light. I imagined banging into other cars as I attempted to park.
If I knew I was going to be driving the next day, I literally could not sleep that night. I would lie in my bed thinking of every terrible thing I might end up doing behind the wheel. By morning, I was not in any state to drive. It might sound ridiculous, but at the time, it was very real.
Sadly, for a long time my fears won. I failed two driving tests just because I was so convinced that I could simply NOT get the hang of driving. Eventually, it came to a point where I had no choice but to face my fears.
And, in the process of “facing my fears,” I had an accident. I hit another car while changing lanes. I felt like never ever trying to drive again. I felt I now had good reason to give up driving for the rest of my life. The accident had validated my fears. But I soon realized that my not being able to drive was just as crippling to my life as my fear of driving. There were so many things I could not participate in because I could not drive. It was also an inconvenience to others who had to drive me from one place to another.
In short, I had to overcome this fear. So, I did. I picked a Walmart grocery store that I felt was easy enough to drive to, and practiced driving from the house to the Walmart and back again. I would park in the farthest and most isolated area of the parking lot. After a few weeks of Walmart trips, I realized that other places I needed to go were just one turn away, one more stop light, a left turn instead of a right turn. Soon I had conquered driving around the town where I lived.
Then came a winter of ice and snow, and I drove in that. We moved to a larger city, and I learned to maneuver through traffic. I moved to the countryside, and I learned to drive long distances. I learned how to drive on busy highways and how to park in crowded parking lots.
I can now with great joy tell you that my fear of not being able to drive was False Evidence Appearing Real. But that fear could have easily kept me homebound had I not defeated it little by little. Especially after my accident, I could have easily convinced myself that I was definitely not a driver! I am so grateful that I pushed past the fear, because doing so changed an important aspect of my life. Being able to drive has allowed me to help support my family, help others who needed me, and has eliminated a huge sense of limitation, frustration, and—you guessed it—fear.
There are many verses in the Bible about fear. One of my favorites is Isaiah 26:3: ”You will keep him in perfect peace whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts You.”
As I worked to conquer my fear of driving, I did my best to follow the instructions in this verse. I tried to focus on God and His power and ability to overcome my inabilities. This verse is kind of an “action” verse. It has an if-then clause in it. God will give you perfect peace if you choose to trust in Him.
It comes more naturally to me to play “movies” in my head about how awful something is going to be rather than focusing on God’s power and receiving His peace. But it’s important to remember that fear is NOT of God.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind” (2 Timothy 1:7).
Fear can make us feel weak and helpless, but God doesn’t want us to feel that way. He wants us to feel empowered, loved, and not tormented, disturbed, and incapable.
And, finally, my favorite verse for days when I just can’t figure out how to deal with my fears: “I sought the Lord, and He heard me, and delivered me from all my fears” (Psalm 34:4).
I love that verse! It’s a grateful proclamation of what God did for someone who was troubled and bound by fear.
Facing your fears is an ongoing part of life. Some fears are reasonable, and others are obviously irrational, but any kind of fear can hold you hostage.
The good news is, every fear has an antidote, and it begins with focusing on God’s love and care for you. “There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear, because fear involves torment. But he who fears has not been made perfect in love” (1 John 4:18).
If you are dealing with some form of fear in your life, realize that you do not have to be bound by that fear. Remember that God loves you and He wants you to be happy, to thrive and to prosper. And then, face your fears.
If fear is holding you back, remember that the only power fear has is the power that you allow it to have. Each time you confront a fear and take a small step to overcome it with the power of God’s Word, you are one step closer to that fear having no power over you.
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified … for the Lord your God goes with you; he will never leave you nor forsake you” (Deuteronomy 31:6).
Adapted from a Just1Thing podcast, a Christian character-building resource for young people.
